So, around April 2014 near the end of my one year studying at Southern Illinois University in Carbondale. I began taking antidepressants (Paxil CR in the morning, and Trazodone at night), as I was dealing with depression, and had taken a break from this kind of medication for awhile. Doing this gave me a "not give a fuck attitude", and a freedom to be and express myself more intensely than before. I soon began to smoke weed again, as I didn't get paranoid about life anymore, and I was generally happier.
I was jovial, loud, expressive, abrasive, aggressive, flirtatious, confident and many other things. I was going for what I wanted without fear of consequence, and pushing boundaries in a nihilistic fashion. I was doing stand up, playing basketball, and going to class and parties, nearing the end of my time in Carbondale.
There was one Saturday night where I was walking home from a bar around 2am and I was walking passed some houses, and in one of them was a frat party happening. So I walked inside and was greeted by a few people.
I went to an area with some couches with a bunch of people there and I sat down next to some girls and some guys. I was drinking and being a bit weird. There was a muscley guy who lived there who asked me for my name, and I wouldn't give it to him, as I felt like being difficult.
"It's okay that you're here, I just want to know your name."
"Josh" I said. I might have said some other names too, and he left me alone as I wasn't really telling him my name, but was just being silly. There were some girls next to me that were on their phones, basically ignoring the party. I had a big issue with this, as they were good looking, and their phones were interfering with me being able to hit on them. So I said something like.
"Hey, why don't you get off your phone, there is a party happening." They ignored me, and there was a guy standing up next to them who said.
"Yeah, we're keeping it that way."
"What?" I asked.
"We're keeping it that way. She's my girlfriend don't talk to her."
I mockingly shrugged at him as we had a short back and forth until he said.
"I'm gonna kick this kid in the face."
I stared at him, as he'd just threatened me. We had been drawing some attention to ourselves, and as I stood up menacingly staring at him, people became alarmed. The muscley guy who asked me for my name earlier got in my face saying.
"That's my boy right there, don't be talking shit to him." I continued to stare at his boy, while people around me were saying. "You should just leave." I didn't want to, I felt slighted, and I wanted to fight this guy one on one who was talking shit to me for talking to his girl friend on the couch.
The muscley guy took off his shirt, creating an audible gasp from some surrounding folk and began telling me to get the fuck out of his house. I wasn't budging, so he put his hand on my chest, slid it up to my throat and shoved me backwards. This really annoyed and embarrassed me
I was outnumbered, and not stupid enough to take on a whole living room. I saw that I was defeated and I listened to the surrounding people's advice to leave. I began walking to the door and saw a skateboard propped up near the window. I briefly considered picking it up to wack somebody, or smash it against the window. Luckily, I did not do that.
As I approached the front door, I looked back at the muscley dude. I'm not sure why, I guess just to piss him off or "show them" that they should be ashamed for kicking out such a fine individual from their party. He saw this as a taunt I presume and charged me, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!"
He shoved me out onto the porch. I smashed into the railing, and grabbed half a beer can throwing it at him just as he shoved me again down the steps of the porch. Hitting the railing again I jumped down the rest of the steps to make hastily away from him.
He and three other guys chased me out as I ran away a bit, but I also remember looking back at them taunting me and being intimidating. So I was kind of backwards shuffling away so I could yell at them and make some less than favorable remarks to them as well as we soon parted ways.
I crossed the street and walked by their house again as that was the direction I had to go to go home. As I walked passed there was one guy out on the porch who was yelling things at me. I pulled down my pants and showed him my ass hole. Which provoked him to reply. "Yeah I bet you like getting plugged up!" Which I replied something along the lines of me enjoying it, but only by his father. I then yelled "Luke Warner mother fuckers remember that name!"
I walked a bit further and saw a group of four guys standing there who asked me what happened. I told them, and they invited me inside to chat for a bit. I remember it as a profound moment, because I was fed up with school and wanted to quit to do comedy. One guy just kept telling me to make it happen, as I was probably repeating myself a lot after awhile. I soon left to go home and sleep.
I wanted to leave SIU around February but stayed until late May/June, completing all of my classes to come to Chicago and do improv at Second City and many other things around comedy.
This is one of the few times in my life where I've been involved in a physical altercation. I soon resorted back to my kind natured self, and this was the second to last time I got involved with taking anti depressants. I have been off them for a couple years and plan on never going back on them again.
I was asking for trouble, and the combination of new medicine, and alcohol affected my pride, ego, and my sense of justice was a bit off kilter. I did some other foolish things during the period of being on this medicine, I'm sure all delve into more soon.