Tuesday, November 6, 2018

My Night with Dirty Joe

There is a man named Joe, he is about 40 years old now I think, I called him Dirty Joe because he often times would talk to and about women. Flirting with them a lot, and was generally horny and strange. I saw him talking to a lady once, and after wards he said "I could see her coochie through her pants."

This was a guy that I met at the Second City Improv Jam about 5 years ago. The first time I met him I got a weird vibe, a vibe that I did not want to be around. He had a bandage on his hand from burning it, and he seemed odd and like he was struggling, and something told me to avoid him, which I ignored.

I had seen him a few times after that, and we got along somewhat. We decided to hang out one night and I spent the night at his place. As I was living in the suburbs at the time, and wanted to stay in the city for the weekend.

So this weekend started at us doing the improv jam. Then hanging out after at a bar near there. At the bar Dirty Joe was talking to some women, and I kept calling him Dirty Joe, and he said to me "Stop calling me Dirty Joe." I didn't want to do this because I felt he was Dirty Joe, but it certainly didn't help his rap with the ladies. We were with a friend named Mac, who invited us to his place after to smoke weed.

So Dirty Joe drove us over to Mac's. We got there and smoked some. Then I had to go to the bathroom, so I did. When I came out Dirty Joe was in the middle of telling a story about how he got some girl to show him her coochie in a bathroom in a club. I believe I called him out for being so dirty, and justifying my nickname for him.

We talked for a bit longer, then we left Mac's place, and Dirty Joe drove me back to his place. On the way home he was telling me stories about hotel rooftop parties and meeting beautiful women, going to high class strip clubs and getting into the VIP section and lap dances and what not.

We finally got back to his place and on his door there was a sign that said "Beware of Dog". We walked in, and sat down. I looked around and did not see a dog present. So I asked him where the dog was, and he replied after a short pause "I'm the dog, bitch!"

We continued to sit there until he went to the closet to grab his guitar. Dirty Joe felt he was rather skilled at playing guitar, but he played some notes for me in a mediocre manner. It was probably about 2am when I went to sleep on his couch.

Waking up the next morning, we mostly hung out and watched TV all day, one thing we watched was a Beastie Boys film with Seth Rogen, Danny McBride and Elijah Wood. He claimed it was one of the greatest things on YouTube. It was pretty good, it also had John C. Reily, Will Ferrell, and Jack Black.

We left his place after four or five hours of not doing anything outside of TV watching. We went back to Second City and got dinner at Corchorans across the street with a friend named, Chip. Dirty Joe was getting on my nerves by this point. He was trying to hit on the waitress quite a bit, and Chip and I were forced to put up with him being annoying.

Dirty Joe and I left to go see an improv show,  and it was fantastic, it's called "The Boys" and consists of some of the top instructors at Second City. I'm not sure if it's still running or not. After that show I left back to Palatine, and I had forgotten a sweatshirt with Dirty Joe, which I later retrieved.

Probably a year later or so, I was at another theater and saw a picture of him. And next to it said,
"If you see this man, call the police." He had been accused of grabbing or harassing a woman at some other theater, and now has a notorious reputation around the improv community of being dirty.
I knew there was something dirty about Dirty Joe, that's why I called him that. He tried to deny it to get the ladies, but he was too dirty for the ladies and their coochies. So I'm glad I continued to call him Dirty Joe.

I saw him this past fourth of July at Montrose beach without a shirt and a large beer belly. I did not say hello to Dirty Joe, I figured it was best to not engage myself with him and his dirty shirtless beer bellied self.