I'm the youngest of three. I have two older sisters, 31 and 27. I have a very small family but my immediate cousins are all girls, the two that I grew up with most are 35 and 31. I was the fifth wheel, I was the observer and a toy to them. There's nothing wrong with that, that's just my story and I believe that has heavily influenced my relationship with women. It probably helped me realize and become a performing type of person, and it gave me a different and unique perspective on women.
From that I sought out to seek male companionship, I am much more comfortable talking to guys and making friends with them. Unlike with women I get nervous on facing the possible tension of "I like you as a girl so I'm talking to you because you're attractive." I have mostly male friends, other performers and buddies who make me laugh a lot and we have deep philosophical and stupid conversations about women, comedy, conspiracies what ever.
I have become better friends with more women in 2017, I feel good about that. Most of them are either platonic, hang out type of friendships, and the others are business related. I engage with older business women. In my energy business my up line is a woman, and my two consultants are women. I am being mentored by my new good friend in alternative education for kids. She is taking me under her wing and allowing me to create myself as an amazing teacher for kids in daycare. I love her for this opportunity, thank you Amanda! But I still struggle romantically and am still nervous in some situations around cute girls that I like.
I feel like I'm in a strange spot, more comfortable with business women than women I'm interested in romantically. I also find it strange that I am getting mentor ship from mostly women, I'm not looking or finding that much male mentor ship. I would say that most of the male mentor ship I am receiving is from listening to podcasts about comedy, business, and radio shows like Opie and Anthony with Jim Norton and PATRICE O'NEAL. Patrice is a genius, and most of his comedy is about women. He is a misogynist but he very logically breaks down the privilege that women have over men by having vaginas. I agree to some extent but do not have the anger and passion he has towards this idea. It is an interesting take on the male to female relationship. I'm assuming that most women will disagree or get angry with Patrice's Point of View, but it is very funny and insightful, enjoy!
Patrice O'Neals philosophy on men and women
And since I have been involved in business with women I see the other side of it. Women who are working hard to become successful and have posture and courage. Women that don't go after men with money or power, who can get away with it because they're attractive.
I'm looking at both worlds and pulling from both of them. I don't claim to be a feminist, I think it's phony if you have to exclaim to everybody that you are a feminist. But I'm looking at both sides, and so should the rest of the world, instead of pointing the finger and trying to make people wrong.
I almost ended it there, it was kind of negative, I don't have hatred in any way, but I just want you all to take a look and understand me :)