A lot of my friends are back from college with Bachelors Degrees. Which is good and I'm proud of them. But it seems like the same old shit. Finding out who's fucking who, and who got arrested, and who didn't graduate... I'm doing right now what I'm about to tell you not to do, gossiping.
Everybody is in everybody else's business. Shit talking was a pretty normal sport in high school, but to see it still present in my friends community is bothersome. I'm not shaming them, because I do it too. I enjoy hearing about who' is gay now, who got an STD, and who is selling lots of drugs. It's a natural human behavior to be nosy. Looking at other people's lives and pointing out their flaws is a way to avoid your own shit. And I am just as guilty as anybody else, in passing along rumors and whispers, and asking nosy questions about other people.
People want to look good, and avoid looking bad. So we talk about who we're having sex with, etc. It's a way to project superiority, and avoid our own negative traits and qualities to protect the ego. I enjoy hearing dirty details about other people because it is entertaining and it deflects my negative feelings towards my self. I get to look or hear about someone else's bad shit and feel better in comparison. It is not a healthy or sustaining good feeling. I feel better when I avoid talking negatively about someone when that opportunity presents itself. I have problems with a lot of people's behavior and trying to "fix" them NEVER works. I feel better when I accept people. I feel good when I can say "That's none of my business." Because usually other people see that in you and realize they are spreading unnecessary details.
Also, I don't enjoy hearing about who is having sex with who, because I am not. I don't want to hear about other people, because most of them are probably lying, and it's none of my business. And it makes me feel bad about my own situation, and I get down on myself in comparison to other people's sexual details. It's really more about me, this is all about my own insecurities. That's why I don't want to hear about other people doing it.
So just try keeping to yourself, and avoid talking poorly about your friends, because they are your FRIENDS. Just try to be nice and wear hats that aren't offensive to minorities.