So I have almost finished completing the Landmark Forum Advanced course. And like in the original Forum we are encouraged to make phone calls to the people in our lives. Enrolling them in possibilities of new relationships and inviting them to our graduation ceremony.
I managed to make all the phone calls to the people in my family and with close friends, but one of them that was bugging me out the most was with my "boss" or head of security. I work at a night club through a security agency and he is in charge of the guards at that club. He is a very nice guy and funny, but for some reason I had it built up in my head that he would take offense or get pissed at me for asking him to come.
I had a reason for calling him which was that my check had not come in. So I tried calling him yesterday, he did not answer and texted me back "what's up?" and I told him that I thought I needed something but didn't anymore.... So I just put it off, I punked out!!
It kind of hung over me all day as I made excuses to people as to why I did not invite him. He occurred to me as a "tough guy" due to his position as head of security, and a lot of people who have heard of Landmark think it's a cult. But I know he is a good guy! I had built up a bad scenario of his reaction and kept wrestling with it in the back of my mind.
We were to make a list of people to call and he was at the top of it. I went to sleep and woke up today worried about calling him. I called some other people on the list first and none of them answered. I KNEW I had to call him, but still used more minutes to put it off. Finally, I just did it, hoping for it to go to voicemail, and it did. So I left him a nice message inviting him and expressing my gratitude. Which is nice but not ideal for "Enrolling" others in your life.
Moments later he calls me back, I panic inside but answer it. We talk a bit about my check, which he has, then I bring up "this thing" I did all weekend which is why I could not work this weekend. I invite him and he is VERY open to it. The complete opposite of what I had expected! He was totally open to checking it out, and I was expecting to rip through the invitation just to get to complimenting him as a good boss, and he said "Of course, because we're friends." It was awesome.
Like most people, making phone calls is hard for me. Due to social media and texting, it's SO much easier for us to just tweet or text each other. Without having to hear the other person's voice. I still get anxiety from receiving phone calls, like a lot of people. But it's a necessary tradition to keep alive. It almost seems strange to me that people interact in person anymore, because everything is online.
When you have the urge to call someone, and it keeps ringing in your head that you should do it... Do it! Get it over with, so you can move on with your life. Because the ringing will never stop until you call that person. And like me, I'm sure you will be surprised at the responses you get from people when you call them to compliment them, express gratitude or invite them to a thing they might think is weird. You will be surprised and flattered with the kind responses to your giving of kindness.
When I don't want to do something hard, and it doesn't just go away by not doing it, so I think to myself. "After I do it, it will be behind me, and I will still be safe in my bed later tonight." Because when we don't deal with our lives, we end up dealing with the fact that we're not dealing with our lives. And we are not effective and expressive in the ways that we can be! Doing the hard stuff in life makes living easier... And spreading love makes everyone feel good! I love anyone who has read this entire thing, and would love to give you a hug. :)