Wednesday, March 16, 2016

I Voted (Sticker)

So yesterday was the voting thing. My dad guilted me into doing it.

"Do your duty as an American."

How is it that that's the only thing that "Freedom" actually represents? Just so that we can kind of pick what female or male shit cunt can move along further in the election than the other female or male shit cunts.

"If you don't vote. Don't ever talk to me about politics."

I don't like talking about politics. It's always an unwinnable debate, because no party is willing to look at the other side.  And they are all shit cunts, so fuck 'em.

So, I went to my old elementary school to vote. I walked into my old art room and waited around like an idiot going from booth to booth trying to find the right one.

"Democrat or Republican?" The Asian girl asked me.

Really? You're just going to ask me in front of all of my fellow Americans. They might think less of me... Well fuck 'em I guess. So I took the stupid ballad, went behind the booth and scribbled in the lines. I then discovered that I had voted for too many people, and so I crossed out some of them with "NO" over it.

I went to plug the ballad into the scanner, it came out invalid. So I was forced to take a new ballad and do it all over again. The Asian girl gave me a new ballad, and I stood there waiting in line again like a jackass when I saw the "I VOTED" sticker in sight. I waited a few moments, put my head phones in, and snuck by grabbing a sticker undetected. I dropped the ballad as I could hear and feel people telling me to stop but I nervously pushed forward. I hustled out the door, jogged to my car and I even kept the felt pen. 

The  first time I filled out the ballad I felt disgusted choosing anybody.  I really just don't want Trump anymore due to reading LOUIE C.K.'s blog about how he is Hitler. And I only really wanted to do it so I could have the sticker to show my dad. Otherwise, fuck that if "freedom" only entails being able to vote.

If I have to choose between fucking a rattlesnake or a trio of piranha, I'll just be celibate. Everyone else can get laid and feel good about having lost their virginity, and parade around with an "I VOTED" sticker.

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