Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Absurdity in Life

I am a big fan of absurdity, I try to use it in all of the un fourth wall type of comedy I create.

Louie CK is a great absurdist,  his show has some greatly subtle and weird reality bending things. Like a man blindly bumping into him over and over as if he does it professionally.

Lewis Carroll is another amazing absurdist. People believe that Alice in Wonderland is the acid trip of a young girl. When really it's just the opposite of everything. He was a mathematician and a logician, his stories are very calculated and illogical. The second chapter of the book starts off with Alice consciously falling down the rabbit hole and reacting to the objects she is seeing. Apparently, he began the story by "going down the rabbit hole" and everything else fell into place. He allowed himself to go to that place in his mind that most people don't know they have.

Normal people think this is fueled by drugs, but it's just wild imagination being released. Everyone has an imagination but most people drag themselves through a shitty job rather than try to exploit what's hidden inside. We all can be absurd, because all of it is already nonsense.

Unlike animals we are conscious of our existence, but we just deal with life rather than introspect. It's absurd that we are constantly ingesting and releasing fluids and solids. It's absurd that we stick our units inside one another and people grow inside of the female body. It's absurd that people play it safe in life so that they can eventually die with regret.

Look at yourself and feel your mind think. This life is all we're guaranteed, and it's absurd that everyone doesn't follow their dreams out of fear or failure. It makes sense that we have created an afterlife because the cosmic joke of our existence is that "It's going to get better."

That's why I like absurdist humor is what I'm trying to say I guess... I like to make up weird shit that I laugh at and I believe that others will too. "Someday" "Tomorrow" are just terms. If you think about "Midnight" that's when the day turns over. The number goes up one and it's now a Thursday and not Wednesday anymore... Bullshit! time is all we have but it means nothing! And with nothing you can create infinitely.

Friday, March 25, 2016

YouTube and creating

My last post was going to be another drunk tale, but my internet kept getting fucked up. I feel some kind of pressure to do more of these posts since I paid a whole $12.00 a year to start this blog. But I have recently been getting back into editing. I only am able to use iMovie, so I am limited, but it still feels great.

Editing is like writing in a lot of ways because you have to make yourself do it sometimes, but once you are doing it, you are glad you started. I have been getting excited about a new project, a sequel to something I made for a film class two years ago. 

Here is the link below.

BELOW is the new one, "The Sequel" 

I have also been able to make videos by myself with my webcam without the assistance of others. One thing that stand up offers is being able to do the shit yourself, but having to leave your home to go to open mics. With film making you generally have to have a crew to make it happen. The way that it's so easy now, anyone can be their own innovator, and sketch through webcam has really helped me not go insane when I am stuck in my house alone.

There is a sequel to this video that you can find on my YouTube page, and I hope to make many more as well. Below is my YouTube page. To check out the rest of my amazingly sub par collection.

Whenever I'm trapped in my mind with negative thoughts and the presence of my scars. I find tranquility in creating comedy and compelling entertainment for others in hopes that they will like it and want to collaborate with me.


Wednesday, March 16, 2016

I Voted (Sticker)

So yesterday was the voting thing. My dad guilted me into doing it.

"Do your duty as an American."

How is it that that's the only thing that "Freedom" actually represents? Just so that we can kind of pick what female or male shit cunt can move along further in the election than the other female or male shit cunts.

"If you don't vote. Don't ever talk to me about politics."

I don't like talking about politics. It's always an unwinnable debate, because no party is willing to look at the other side.  And they are all shit cunts, so fuck 'em.

So, I went to my old elementary school to vote. I walked into my old art room and waited around like an idiot going from booth to booth trying to find the right one.

"Democrat or Republican?" The Asian girl asked me.

Really? You're just going to ask me in front of all of my fellow Americans. They might think less of me... Well fuck 'em I guess. So I took the stupid ballad, went behind the booth and scribbled in the lines. I then discovered that I had voted for too many people, and so I crossed out some of them with "NO" over it.

I went to plug the ballad into the scanner, it came out invalid. So I was forced to take a new ballad and do it all over again. The Asian girl gave me a new ballad, and I stood there waiting in line again like a jackass when I saw the "I VOTED" sticker in sight. I waited a few moments, put my head phones in, and snuck by grabbing a sticker undetected. I dropped the ballad as I could hear and feel people telling me to stop but I nervously pushed forward. I hustled out the door, jogged to my car and I even kept the felt pen. 

The  first time I filled out the ballad I felt disgusted choosing anybody.  I really just don't want Trump anymore due to reading LOUIE C.K.'s blog about how he is Hitler. And I only really wanted to do it so I could have the sticker to show my dad. Otherwise, fuck that if "freedom" only entails being able to vote.

If I have to choose between fucking a rattlesnake or a trio of piranha, I'll just be celibate. Everyone else can get laid and feel good about having lost their virginity, and parade around with an "I VOTED" sticker.

Sunday, March 13, 2016

SHOW: Trailer Park Boys

This is absolutely one of my favorite shows. I started watching this show as New years day approached from 2013 to 2014. I was watching the new episodes of "Always Sunny In Philadelphia" and decided to check out TPB on Netflix, and immediately I fell in love with it.

Right off the bat as the boys (Ricky and Julian) are getting out of jail they are pissed at each other and are no longer wanting to be involved. They head back to the trailer park and Ricky's frustration is unleashed when he sees Randy and Lahey for the first time in a long time. That first exchange displayed their hilarity and close bond as actors to be beleivable dicks to each other.

Everyone gets mad at each other at some point, but in the end everyone cares about each other. Because they are a family in the trailer park.

That's what this show so funny, because they are able to show the human side of caring and to show real hardships they all go through.

But Ricky has the most amazing one liners based off his stupidity. How he twists phrases incorrectly and brilliantly to display his mornocism. His frustration is great to see, because we are all frustrated in life, like I am a lot of the time. All of the characters serve a great purpose, and they all feed into each other beautifully and believably. 

One of the amazing things was that after seven seasons from 2001-2007 they started making new season in 2014, maybe six or seven months after I discovered them. 

This show has changed my life, and all of their movies are just as good too. If you are looking for a new sitcom to watch this is it. It has a special place in my heart and I love those guys.

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Drunk Tale #2


I was freshly 21 and was hitting the bars heavily in Palatine. During this time I was on Paxil CR (SSRI Anti depressant) and was extremely confident and full of myself. I was feeling great about starting classes at Second City, which made me more comfortable with women and intruding on people's business at bars.

It was a sport for me to hit on girls with boyfriends. For some reason, it was my way of getting under the "alpha male's" skin and getting myself into trouble. Just pissing people off for it's own sake. My nights would end with me feeling darkly satisfied in having gotten some people's attention. A weird smiley negativity that was the main reason I would drink and stay out so late .

I had read that beer makes you're throat more clogged, I have this problem in general so I decided not to drink beer anymore. So I was at home with my friend and we pre gamed with wine.When we got to whatever bar we ordered some mixed drinks. And shot girls came up to us and gave me their last two shots of fireball. Once I was drunk, I felt like chilling out on some beer and disregarded my intentions of doing without it. So this mixture of alcohol began stirring in my stomach throughout the night, and it was coming to haunt me soon. I have no idea what happened to my friend or anything specific from that night, except for once I got home.

I'd been blacking out hard, and in a foggy haze I was wandering around my kitchen confused and physically unable to go to bed. I was pacing back and forth holding my own shit in my hands, with my shitty pants around my ankles. When I reemerged, my dad was pushing me into the shower fully clothed. I laid there and shat the rest of my brains out, and somehow my dad got me into bed.

For many months after that, my carpet stunk of shitty residue, and I was reminded of that night. But it didn't teach me a good enough lesson because Drunk Tale #3 came a week or so after this event. Coming Soon!!

Friday, March 4, 2016


Last night around 2am I was sitting at the Old Town Ale House after my class at Second City had ended. I look over to the bar and I see HANNIBAL BURESS standing there talking to the bartender! Since he was alone I figured I would go talk to him. We made eye contact, and as soon as I stood up to go walk over to him I could see it in his face "oh no, here comes some fan boy."

I approached him with something original like "You're Hannibal Buress." And he agreed with that. He seemed a bit disinterested in talking to me but I knew that he started doing stand up in Carbondale Illinois at SIU in a place where I started, The Long Branch Cafe. So we talked a little bit about that, he asked me if I knew the owner of that place and I didn't. 

I was nervous so I asked him, "What the fuck are you doing in this place?" Thinking that's some kind of compliment on his status as a famous comedian, he was not to pleased with that question. He said "Come here, you see that picture up there... That's me, way before I ever became famous, so don't be asking me what the fuck I'm doing here, what the fuck are you doing here?" He kept ripping on me to the bartender about my arrogance and dumb questions and we laughed about it.

I asked him about Why? his TV show which I found out is cancelled. But apparently he's working on another project.  I then told him I saw Flying Lotus on Why? Who we both agreed on being excellent.

I then said something like "I'm surprised I'm the only one in here who's bothering you right now." He jumped all over my arrogance again for that, because the Ale House is a chill place where people don't make a big deal out of regulars who have become famous.

At some point he asked me how old I was, I said 22. Then he said "I've been coming here since 2003 when you were stilling pissing in your bed." I liked that one.

After we shook hands a few times and clinked our glasses together I asked for a picture and he said no. Which is very understandable, and would have drawn unnecessary attention, but I had to ask. I shook his hand again saying it was nice to meet him and he wished me good luck with the comedy. 

It was really surreal to see him, stand in front of him and converse with him. He smelled exactly how I thought he would smell too.

He was a bit of a strange dude, but overall he was a good guy about everything. I did not reciprocate with attempting to break his balls, I was just very nice and apologetic. "I'm sorry Mr. Buress." "Call me Hannibal."

I called him Mr. Buress as a kind of joke, but it was cool for him to tell me to call him Hannibal. We both continued our nights, he ended up in the back room talking to some girls, so I didn't bother him again.   

Obviously, I've been over analyzing what happened. Maybe I could have asked better questions, or broken his balls back. But I met the fucking guy who's blowing up Bill Cosby's spot, who's all over Netflix and is really killing it for his age in Show Business. So it was a great experience to talk to him for five minutes.