Sunday, December 27, 2015

Swiper... No swiping?

Dora The Explorer. Okay... his name is "Swiper" but he is not allowed to swipe. I feel like that is his job in life... to swipe. That has to be a demoralizing way to live your life. Constantly trying to do the only thing you know how to or deem worthy of doing. And a small Latina girl and her blue monkey friend are constantly interfering with your duties.

One would have to question God at this cruel and ironic cycle of living. What else does Swiper do with his free time? He has to be swiping from other people besides Dora and Boots to get his fix. Because he has to swipe. It's his name and everything he stands for as a being. 

Imagine what Swiper does when he goes home... He opens the door to his mother making a casserole in the kitchen. And his drunk father sitting on the couch watching sports...

 Mom: Hi Honey, how was your day today?

Swiper: Not great mom.
Dad: Let me guess, you've made a mockery of our name yet again.
Mom: Don't say that Harold. It's okay that you don't swipe honey.
Dad/Harold: No it's not! We're Swiper's, that's what we've been doing for centuries, and our son can't respect that! He's a pussy!
Swiper: I'm sorry Dad, I wish I could.
Harold: You would if you had any balls!
(HAROLD STANDS UP, AND STRIDES ANGRILY TO HIT SWIPER.)
Mom: No don't hit him.
(MOM TAKES THE BLOW FROM HAROLD, SHIELDING SWIPER.)
Mom: Run honey, run!
Dad: Shut up bitch, let me hit my son!
Swiper: Stop it Dad!

You could imagine what that does to a child over time. His father ashamed and embarrassed to have a weak son that does not honor his ancestry. And his poor mother stuck sacrificing herself for the sake of her son's inability to perform.

There really aren't any alarming repercussions for swiping either. It's only a small brown girl and her overly kind and helpful primate pal verbally warning him. Swiper could easily run away quickly with their belongings, or just beat them up.

What is Dora the Explorer really teaching us? Not to be true to ourselves? Only to listen while your wearing gloves and a protective mask. That's not right... That's not American... And Dora the Explorer is not American, but you all already knew that. 



Wednesday, December 23, 2015

MOVIE: Magnolia

I had been hearing about this movie for a few months now on different podcasts and interviews. I'm also a big John C. Reily fan, who is just one big name in this movie. Along with Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Tom Cruise, Julianne Moore, William H. Macy and others.

A three hour movie is a hard thing to watch with a short attention span, but this movie flew by. What's so cool about this movie is all of the separate story lines that eventually interweave throughout this one day. It is basically based around two old men at the end of their lives, and their legacy of people they've influenced negatively over time.

For example, an estranged misogynistic son (Tom Cruise) runs a seminar for men who want to get lots of women. And the old man's caretaker (Phillip Seymour Hoffman) tries to get a hold of him so he can see his dying father (Jason Robards). And his junkie wife's downward spiral (Julianne Moore). If this makes any sense...

The other old man, (Phillip Baker Hall) a game show host, goes to his his cocaine addicted daughter (Melora Walters) to tell her he has cancer, she doesn't care. She is later met by a cop (John C. Reily) on account of a noise complaint. They form a weird bond through out the movie that really show cases John C. Reily's amazing vulnerability.

And (William H. Macy) was a boy who won the game show the other old man runs, and his story takes place years after the game show, and his self disintegration. 

This is getting very bunched up in my attempts to explain everything that is going on. But there are some really amazing themes that stream through out the movie, all scored by appropriate music. I really enjoyed everyone's performance, and the payoff at the end of the movie is fantastic. It is a drama, but there are some small doses of black and necessary comedy.

Everything is wrapped up extremely well, and it all comes full circle. Regarding the first images of the movie, and the character's development through out... Just watch the movie!

It's on HBO, or you could also try DVD. It is a  good reflection on life, death, and deep regret. The final song by Aimee Mann "Wise Up" plays on the radio, and all of the characters sing along simultaneously. It's a really moving and intense scene to bring some kind of closure to this one eventful day.

Also, the director Paul Thomas Anderson is married to Maya Rudolph!


Thursday, December 17, 2015

COMEDIAN: Marc Maron

Marc Maron has gained supreme success from his WTF podcast. And has received his own show Maron, on IFC. I have watched the first two seasons on Netflix many times. It is such a funny show with so many great elements of his life in it. It is like Louie in the sense of stand up bits becoming scenes along with touching moments of humanity. I have recently watched the third season on Netflix, which is also amazing.

His book Attempting Normal is another great piece of his work. It's filled with jokes and a heartfelt and funny speech at the end. He does a great job of putting emotions into words, and relating to the reader.

He has a lot of great stories, about Sam Kinison and the Comedy Store. Coke and alcohol fueled adventures are very fun to listen to, and to pull some wisdom from them.
So many of his interviews on WTF have influenced me positively, and given me great insight on comedy and life.

I saw him about a year and a half ago at the Athaneum Theater in Chicago. I can remember one line that struck me was, "Come on, we're all adults here, we've all had cum on us at some point!" The crowd exploded and so did I. Because probably a day or two earlier I came on my stomach after jerking one, and it hard me so close to home.

I can't think of other things to say about him, talking nicely about people is a lot harder than I thought.... You get the idea. Go watch his show on Netflix and his amazing Podcast.

Sunday, December 13, 2015

SHOW: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

It's safe to say that almost EVERYONE loves this show. It is so hilarious and comes out of the gate swinging with every episode. Their pilot The Gang Gets Racist displays their fearlessness in attacking un PC topics. Showing the gangs ignorance to race and insensitivity to homosexuality.
Along with Tina Fey, the gang approaches the white guilt factor rather than ignore it. And to me that shows a lot about the real tension of white guilt towards black people.

The reason that Mac, Charlie, Dee, and Dennis are able to take on these taboo subjects is because they are the butt of the jokes every time. They are shown as narcissistic ass holes oblivious to their fellow people. This is a formula for any type of satire, Louie does it too in his show. Making themselves look like dicks for the greater good. To point out this type behavior in humanity.

This show really helped me get through High School. It was one of the few things I could count on to make me feel better. The chemistry that Glenn Howerton, Rob McElhenney, and Charlie Day have creates a group of mind of amazing comedy. Then adding a strong female comic presence who is willing to be the butt of the joke within their small society. They were forced to grab a big name, and Danny Devito was a truly fantastic choice.
Charlie will often make me laugh hard, but Frank Reynolds is so god damn funny. Danny Devito is just such a great actor that he commits so hard to the comedy.

Their supporting characters are all great too. The McPoyale brothers with their incest and warm milk, are often a tasty treat. Gail the snail is always bizarre. They have a cool way of bringing back all of their fun characters through out the series that all tie together.
Rickety Cricket's homelessness is heightened through out the series. Ben the Soldier's popping up, Da Maniac, and Bill Ponderosa is amazing. All of these characters are either referenced earlier and then brought to life, or are met and their back story is revealed.

It is about to go into it's eleventh season, and it has remained just as funny as all of the other seasons. It has not gone stale, the characters are too grounded and hilarious to get rid of. I hope they make more and more.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

COMEDIAN: Bill Burr

Bill Burr is another East coast comedian who pushes boundaries, and has a unique voice. He talks about a lot of different things (race, women) and defends himself regarding these issues that are viewed as opposite in pop culture. As a white guy, he's figured out a funny way to talk about white guilt and 'gold digging whores' in a way that appeals to the people that he wants to appeal to. He has carved out his own niche in show business and has become one of the best comedians working today.

He is also the reason that I started watching Breaking Bad... Finally. I had been putting it off because I saw an end to a season, that spoiled a main characters death. But after listening to him talk about it with Jim Norton on his Monday Morning Podcast, I had to check it out... I watched the whole series in eleven days. Here it is below.

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=jim+norton+monday+morning+podcast

It was so exciting to see his name come up on the credits later in the season! He was great in that show, he had such a cool little role as one of Saul Goodman's henchmen, Patrick Kuby.

I have watched his specials many times Emotionally Unavailable (2007) Why Do I Do This? (2008) Let It Go (2010) You People Are All The Same To Me (2012), and his latest special I'm Sorry You Feel That Way (2014).

In his latest special he covered some new and intriguing topics, he did a bit on religion that basically trumped the entire "God" belief in one sentence. If he were to go to Heaven and he misbehaved, what would happen? "What are you gonna kick me out?

He just returned to the Nerdist Podcast, and I saw a totally new side of him. He discussed getting his pilot license, and how F is For Family is actually about his child hood, and a bunch of other stuff that showed his kindness. My perspective was totally renewed on Bill Burr after that interview. He's a very dynamic guy and ya gotta love 'em.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

COMEDIAN: Jim Norton

I first discovered Jim Norton through watching Louie on FX. He was completely himself, and that's what I love about him. There is no stone un turned (or whatever the phrase is) in his life.
Everything in his life has come out through his humor some shape or another. From misadventures with prostitutes to other misadventures with prostitutes. He gives everything he has to his audience in hopes for inevitable laughter.

I fell in love with his stand up, but for the past few years or so I have been indulging in his work on The Opie and Anthony Show. Out of all the stand up comedians, Jim Norton has to have the widest range of astounding characters. Lyle 'Chip' Chipperson with his hilarious tsts commas. Ted Sheckler's vast variety of money making emporiums. Uncle Paul's many misunderstandings with children. Edgar Mellencamp's dry teeth. Turk February. And of course Helen Bergeron's amazing tag lines and telling it how it is. He creates plenty of other characters through combining characteristics and his ability to commit and hang onto key phrases that define them.

One thing in particular that makes his characters so concrete, is the language he uses for each of them. And the catch phrases he gives them. He can even overlap them and/or use them both in the same bit. But the phrases he gives for them are so individually unique and incredible.

He also has an amazing ability to twist the language of any characters including himself. Simple pronunciations like "Ahppie" and "Remahtley" for "Opie" and "Remotely", for Edgar. He has such a good grasp on the nuances of human dialect and he makes me gut laugh in admiration.

He is truly fearless in his opinions, and his ability to point out his own flaws allows him to compare himself to humanity's ridiculosus behavior . His troubled upbringing really does not display a future for success. But his intelligence and his comedy are too good to prevent from the world.

I can't get enough of his characters, but he has never had to do a stand up special as one of them... He has used them for the stage to make them better characters, but he still has the capacity to create new material in his own voice. Of relevant and necessary issues from Donald Trump to Bill Cosby. I for one would love to see a 'Chip Chipperson' stand up special, but Jim Norton doesn't need them to succeed, he is an amazing comedian.

American Degenerate (2012), Please be Offended(2013), and Contextually Inadequate (2015), are his newest specials, and so close together. He's insanely prolific and these all hold up as great Comedy Specials.

I read his book Happy Endings, it was amazing. I've never laughed so many times reading line after line. Every page is jam packed with funny comparisons and one liners. The whole book is laced with cringe worthy and offensive jokes.

He is a necessary force for giving politically correct douche bags a kick to the groin on any topic. His complete honesty is extremely noble, which makes him a Stand up superhero.




Friday, November 27, 2015

RAPPER: Slug (Atmosphere)

I love hip hop, and Atmosphere is my favorite rap group. Slug (Sean Daley) is the rapper and Ant (Anthony Davis) is the DJ. They've had plenty of other amazing rappers, DJ's, guitarists and pianists on their songs as well. But Slug and Ant are the core, with Rhymesayers Entertainment. Some other amazing rappers like Aesop Rock, Blueprint, El-P, Eyedea, Freeway, Murs, Musab, and a bunch more that I can't think of, are on this label and it's a really cool thing to see all of these great rappers working together in a solid foundation.

What I love about Slug is his sincerity and his honesty. Conscious rap. A lot of new rap is not 'conscious', but focused around the flashiness and cockiness of wealth and women. Or 'trash rap', it's a different style and genre, the mainstream seems to like it for some reason. That's why they play it at sporting events and weddings and all that other horse malarkey.

Conscious rap is about life and it's struggles, and Slug has been taking that to crowds for decades and has earned the respect he deserves. His lyrics are truly poetic, yet he is only "labeled" as a rapper.

I started listening to him about six years ago and it has really changed my life and inspired me. Discovering his life story scattered throughout his music, his upbringing is truly unique.
His mother died in a car crash when he was twelve, and his father committed suicide a year later. This is not confirmed in any solid way to me, but there are references to it throughout his songs. "Nothing But Sunshine." is primarily about it. I saw it on Wikipedia but cannot find it,,, I still believe it.

I've seen him five times and he is such a great performer. Controlling the crowd, and engaging us with him and ourselves. At North Coast this September 6th of 2015 (1 day before his birthday), he had everyone in the crowd holding hands and hugging. I was reluctant at first, along with the guy whos hand I was holding... But when we finally gave in it was a beautiful moment to be apart of, as I'm sure it was for the rest of the crowd.

His transformation of introspection is really awe inspiring. In his early years in the 90's,  he often rapped about his struggles with women, and was generally more angry at the world. Over the past two decades he's brought himself out of his own darkness through his art. With some very philosophically uplifting and self reflective lyrics.

He speaks to me in an indescribable way, and I feel like I know him personally. That's what makes him such a great entertainer. A lot of new rap is about money and hoes, and not their personal struggles as human beings. Which to me, is the root of all great entertainers, actors, comedians, writers etc. included. Taking our struggles, and uncertainties into art to influence and inspire others.
And at the expense of letting others see you naked, completely exposing yourself with the risk of peoples hatred and rejection. Yet it is met with love and admiration to the people who appreciate this kind of unselfish gift giving. It's really a heroic and noble way to make a living.

I could go on and on about Slug because I love and respect him so much, and if I ever met him I would not be able to get enough words out to interpret my appreciation for him.

Also, Ant just has the dopest beats around town. Let's be hones.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

COMEDIAN: Patrice O'Neal

He was one of the greatest comedians of all time. A true martyr to Stand up Comedy and he epitomized creative integrity. He never compromised and never catered to anyone. As a black comic he had a totally unique view on race. He did not make you feel bad for being white. But reminded us white folk to acknowledge racism and not to pretend like it doesn't exist anymore.

That was only one element of his comedy. He had the ability to break a person down on sight and dismantle them in a completely honest and funny way. This gave a lot of people including myself a bad first impression of him. He also has a logically misogynistic side to him that most women do not like, but I enjoy it from time to time.

As I got to know him better through his Stand up and Opie and Anthony clips, I learned that he really was a sweet and kind person. You can hear his childlike giggles in this clip... 
The Roast of Early Jim Norton I listen to this every few weeks, it always cracks me up.

When he scanned a person and pointed out their flaws, it was an attempt to help them. It came across as mean because most people are not used to such brutal honesty. Deep down he wanted to help others and change the world.

Plus he was seriously hilarious, he could transition without any notice from silly to serious topics. He was always a courageous comic who said what was on his and everyone else's mind without hesitation.

I did not know about Patrice until after he died. People started talking about him when he died, and a lot of comics I enjoyed knew and respected him. So I watched his last special Elephant in the Room, and it totally changed my life regarding comedy.

He is a huge part of my life and my comedy education. He still has a tremendous body of work out there that keeps his legacy alive. I suggest him to anyone who loves comedy, he is a dose of reality that EVERYONE should have in their lives.

Patrice goes to jail

^^^This clip shows why Patrice does the material he does, and why he has his perspective on social justice and fearlessness.

Patrice is smart

^^^This shows Patrice's INSANE intelligence, and his first hand defense of comedy versus Political correctness.

Elephant in the Room

^^^This is his last special, my first impression of him, and his last imprint on the world.

I really love everything that Patrice stood for... Honesty and integrity in his humor. He's amazing and deeply missed by everyone intelligent who believes in the freedom of speech.

RIP Patrice O'Neal. 

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Sorry, I'm trying to be so deep. I'll just try to be funny.

I'm not really sure what I want this "blog" to be about. I've never blogged, or looked at anyone else's blog before this. I've only heard negative stereotypes of bloggers being cowardly critics. People that feel the need to shame comedians (and others) for going too far. Or people that point out inappropriate behavior just so they can seem like they are concerned for humanity's sake.

If you've ever said "My heart aches for America", based off of some joke a comedian made... You should shoot right back into your mothers cunt, you DOUCHE. Don't pretend that you're better than everyone else. Don't  try to speak on behalf of "the nation" for what you deem appropriate for US. It's annoying.

Like hecklers in comedy clubs, they think they're funny and they think they should be up on stage getting laughs. But they're not, and they try to ruin the show because they're cowards... And if you act outraged at something offensive that is personal to you. You have no credibility if you've been laughing at all of the other inappropriate jokes that weren't personal to you.

In the movie Heckler all types of entertainers were interviewed. George Lucas said it the best... "Their are two type of people in the world. The creators and the destroyers."
Sooo... If you blog about politically incorrect comedy, and how it's affecting the youth of America negatively, you already know what kind of person you are. Sure, you're creating , but you're trying to destroy the entertainers hard work, by putting it down, like an ASS.

Movie and play critics are the worst. YEARS and YEARS of hard work are put into making a movie or a play. Then theses pompous piss flaps have the gall to bash it based on seeing it once or twice. They're destroyers, who probably hate themselves, and masturbate more often than most would deem appropriate.

I haven't made a blog for a long time because of it's negative stigma. The Internet in general is very negative. A bunch of people that are allowed to be ass holes behind a screen because there is no real consequence. Just some harsh words to deal with. So I don't want to be one of those kind of blogs is what I'm trying to say.

I like to discuss and debate and converse with people... But with the immediacy of the Internet, peoples knee jerk reactions are to name call or to act as if they're experts on what is right and wrong.

I don't know why I'm trying to get so deep. I've been doing that a lot lately. I'd rather just be funny, but I dislike most things. For the most part, people just want to laugh, so they can forget about how much they dislike most things.

But people that try to put a lid on comedy are only making comedians push back harder. Jokes will always be made about rape, cancer, AIDS, incest, school shootings, etc. etc. etc. Because that is the purpose of humor in our existence. Life would be too hard to take everything serious, people need to laugh, that's why it feels so good and is "the best medicine."

My acting teacher told me a story. Her friend had a baby and it only had it's thumb and pinkie, and they were both sticking out. The father held this thing in his arms and said, "Well at least he can pick his nose and his ear at the same time."  That was their way of dealing with this misfortune.

So lighten up you nasty bloggers, look at someone you think is inappropriate and accept that they're a human being that exists and move on with your life. 

Or write them a displeasing letter and shoot it back up ya motha's cunt when you jump back in there. I'm sure they'll find it there.

I'll only write about movies/TV/Actors/Writers/Comedians that I like. Why I think they are so good and how they changed my life. Stuff that I don't like is not worth my time writing about. Because their are so many amazing entertainers that make me laugh and help me dislike everything so much.
 


Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Good TV Shows

Some people don't know what next show to watch... What?!?! There's so much good stuff out there. I have too many things I have to watch. Here is a list of all of my favorite TV shows, or shows that I would like to watch at some point.  I like to think that I have good taste. I'm sure there are also plenty of other good shows out there I didn't mention. I just had fun making this list.

Netflix
Comedy
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Trailer Park Boys
Louie
Maron
Legit
Derek
An Idiot Abroad
The Office (U.S. and U.K. )
Malcolm in the Middle
Portlandia
Arrested Development
The League
Wilfred
The IT Crowd
The Birthday Boys
Cheers
MASH
Freaks and Geeks
Peep Show
3rd Rock from the Sun
Bob's Burgers
Family Guy
Master of None
W/ Bob and David
The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret
Comedy Bang Bang
Blue Mountain State
Short Poppies
The Boondocks
Wet Hot American Summer
30 Rock
Parks & Recreations
The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Bojack Horesman
Garfunkel & Oates
The Munsters
Drama
Breaking Bad 
The Walking Dead
A Young Doctor's Notebook
Weeds
Doctor Who
Rescue Me
Dexter
Twin Peaks
American Horror Story
Narcos
Black Mirror
Sons of Anarchy
Gotham
Hitler & the Nazis
House of Cards
Damages
House
Fringe
Peaky Blinders

HBO
Comedy
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Bored To Death
Silicon Valley
Hello Ladies
Eastbound and Down
Summer Heights High
Extras
Tenacious D
Funny or Die Presents
Lucky Louie
Veep
Flight of the Concords
The Brink
Entourage
Life's Too Short
Drama
Five Days
Boardwalk Empire
Band of Brothers
Game of Thrones
Oz
The Sopranos
Deadwood
The Wire
Six Feet Under
True Detective

Cartoon Network
Regular Show
Adventure Time
Rick and Morty (Also on Hulu)
Uncle Grandpa
(Older)
Ed Edd 'n Eddy
Dexter's Laboratory
Courage the Cowardly Dog
The Grim adventures  of Billy & Mandy
(Classics)
Looney Tunes
Tom & Jerry
There's always something weird and funny on Adult Swim.

Impractical Jokers on TruTV (Or thetenderloins on YouTube.)

Spaced: A show that Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, and Edgar Wright made before making movies.
Snuff Box: A hilarious esoteric British sketch show.
The Whitest Kids 'U Know (All on YouTube)

 YouTube is also a great source for anything. This is just TV, I'll put some movies up soon, Yaaay!!


Monday, November 9, 2015

Hey there, Mr. Big Tough Guy.

I am not a fighter. I am what most people would call a 'vagina with legs'. Not really, most people call me Princess Pussy-hair. The masculine form at its core (to me) is to take what you want, and rid of anyone/thing in your way. To be superior to other men and not to be disrespected. Some shit like that, that 's why men look at Al Capone and Frank Lucas with some amount of admiration. They are the ultimate form of masculinity: Power, respect, money, women. In the eyes of the masculine vein, that is king.

I have always been ashamed of never having been in a fight. There were two instances where I was playing recreational football and a bigger kid started something with me. I backed down both times. They were bigger than me, I was scared. All of my adrenaline was fueled by anxiety and my flight took over my fight. More like stand there and be embarrassed.

I look back on these moments and feel like I should have been the hero. The smaller kid who beats up the bully, or at least attempts to beat him up. But I wasn't willing to fight, and dealt with the shame and embarrassment of backing down or being called a 'pussy' in front of a large group.

However, I have always had a fascination with fighting, I remember watching fight scenes over and over in movies like Fight Club, The Godfather, The Warriors. I love the UFC. I used to make fake fight videos with my friends all the time! In a lot of ways it's cool and respectable to battle someone toe to toe and win or go down swinging.
I have taken some boxing/kickboxing classes and had a lot of fun in them. I sparred with a few people and got banged up a bit and it felt good. That type of fighting comes out of respect and learning, and that's what's so cool about MMA.
 I've never used any of these things I've learned to hurt people, but now I am more confident in my ability to talk things out. Rather than using any of those learned techniques to hurt somebody. 

I feel that it is boiled down to ego. When a guy feels that he is being bad mouthed, or disrespected. His male ego won't allow him to brush it off, but to take it personally, and to fight to prove his masculinity. A lot of men fight over girls, they want to defend the girl. But primarily it's that their ego is hurt due to the girl screwing around or a guy making an inappropriate pass at her. He would look 'weak' if he let that slide and his manhood is on the line! No... Fighting over a promiscuous girl is not worth whatever bull shit will follow from that.

I am not defending my unwillingness to fight to my lack of an ego. I genuinely did not want to get hurt. But now I am able to talk things out, and realize that my masculinity is not at stake. And I can come off looking more admirable for not fighting and trying to reason or make peace.

On the contrary, I am not necessarily a pacifist. There was an instance where I was playing basketball and this kid kept fouling me. Throughout the game he was slapping and bumping me. Then he started jibber jabbering and he eventually tripped me. I lost it and swung an elbow at him... I know, I'm a crazed and violent maniac... I missed, he kept talking a little bit, and I shot a beautiful rainbow swoosh over him to win the game. The he shut up.
He was asking for a fight, and he got a rise out of me. I was confident in being bigger than him and being in the right about my actions. That to me is one of the few instances where defending yourself is okay. Defending yourself and others is always important to me when there is a resolvable injustice. In that case I lost my temper, it seemed that my only option was to scare him. I don't consider that a fight though...
I was still pissed off at him for being such a cunt basket, even though I won, technically. My ego was letting that kid affect me, and I was upset, and thinking of what else I could have done.

Because I am a very sensitive guy and things bother me more than they should, I dwell in the past, and let things linger in my mind longer than they should. That is where these points of view are coming from. I don't want anyone to get hurt or bothered by my actions, so I just try to be nice. Therefore, I won't be exposed as the fragile, delicate, vaginal legged weirdo that I am.

Occasionally,  I still think about those fighting opportunities, and feel like I should have stood up for myself. But ultimately, those two guys apologized to me, because I  wasn't a jizz turkey that deserved to have his face punched in... And neither were they.

If I see the kid from that basketball game again, I won't attack again, maybe I'll just try to figure out why he's such a cunt basket. Then we can be friends.!

Thursday, October 29, 2015

COMEDIAN: Louie C.K.

I am a big fan of Louie C.K. just like most of the smart Americans in the universe of America. In the comedy world, he is what some folk would call "The bee's knees" or the king/emperor/master/sensai/etc of comedy. My douchy 'anti mainstream' hipsteryness doesn't want me to like him, because he is so famous/funny/life changing. But I really truly love his work, and watch everything he does.

My father's friend from High School, married one of Louie C.K.'s sisters. When his show on FX aired in 2010, my dad had recorded some episodes because of that. I saw them and thought of it as something I would watch if I had nothing else to watch. So eventually I did.

I was about sixteen, and it struck a very weird comedy chord in me. The extremely bizarre and humorous world that he created was an image that stuck in my brain. So I continued to watch. The first joke that really hit me was... His bit on taking his daughters to the bathroom at the airport. Him pointing out the farting foreign men's penises. Taking them into the stall with him next to two shitting men, one man is pushing his leg on the ground to get leverage. Then he hears the other guy hock up a loogie. This is the line that made me love him... "So now I know, that guys is SPITTING PAST HIS DICK, into his own shit and piss." The ALL CAPS words are where the hitting of my mind occurred.

That was the most relatable thing I'd heard up to that point from a comedian. It was exactly what I wanted to hear come out of his mouth during that bit. I'll never forget that moment... Another moment that struck me was when I listened to him in an interview with Ron Bennington (Unmasked with Louie C.K.) Everything he said in that interview was what I was thinking and what I needed to hear.

Louie C.K. talked about his love of making shorts films, so like Woody Allen, his philosophy was basically to become as funny as possible so that they'd HAVE to give him a camera. At that moment, it rang in my head that "I have to do Stand up". Because I wanted to make films, and that attitude of being so funny that "they'd HAVE to let me do it!" was very powerful. And listening to him describe his early years and fears about Stand up gave me confidence and reassurance. Because I had never heard a comedian talk about the horrible and hard beginnings of their careers. It was a stepping stone for me in in listening to interviews of comedians through podcasts and radio shows, learning from conversations.

I continue to love his show, and have moved onto watching his stand up specials. (Shameless, Chewed Up, Hilarious, Live at the Beacon Theater, Oh My God) and his newest one at the Comedy Store. These are all amazingly funny and fearlessly satirical pieces of comedy wisdom. I have seen all of them many times.

In 'Chewed Up' his first fifteen or so minutes were on the words, Faggot, Cunt, and Nigger. I capitalize these words because they are as important to me as God or Jesus. He deconstructs their meanings, their alternatively used and slang meanings, and why they are funny. He dissected these politically incorrect terms so beautifully that every PC person had to realize their truths, whether they wanted to or not. Then he wraps it all up beautifully, I won't tell you how, because you should go see it if you haven't!

This is just one specific piece from one of his specials, there are so many more bits that have the same, if not more of a brilliant impact.

His insanely honest perspective on his wife and kids are groundbreaking, in so many ways. I listen to his older stuff where he does this and I'm flabbergasted at how I actually just used flabbergasted in this sentence... It truly is mind blowing to listen to this guy who is basically sacrificing his failing marriage and young daughters for his career. But then you realize the value in this honesty, and the courage he has to say these things alone on stage to drunk strangers! Quite innovating stuff.

A lot of people don't like him, because he has become so ginormous. That's normal, he cannot be liked by everyone. He's been at it for too long, and is TOO good to let some faggot nigger cunt deer bloggers and anonymous haters try to take him down. You're allowed not to like him, but you HAVE to respect him.

I could go on and on about how much I love Louie C.K. His show on FX especially, because it was my first exposure to him. It is my home base. He has a hugely positive impact on me and millions of other creative and amazing people.

There are plenty of people we all meet in our lives that are shitty to us and we don't like them. At the opposite spectrum is Louie C.K. a guy who changes peoples lives, and allows us to admire him from the sidelines.

I don't see the big deal is with blowing Ewan McGregor, I'd much rather blow Louie C.K. if I had the chance... Watch 'Shamless' and you'll get the reference. Hopefully my dad's friend from High School can hook that up.

PIG NEWTONS RULE!

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Hypocrisy in Humanity

Myself included. The posts I've made so far are filled with contradictions. I'm a hypocrite just like everybody else, but I have to stand by my opinions. If I feel that I'm being honest in the moment and I state something I have to defend it, or admit that I was wrong.

I want to make things funny, and the truth is funny. The truth can also be fabricated to be funny... It's weird like that. But I cannot stand political correctness, so I curse and say shocking things sometimes, just to bother these J-holes. I listen to a lot of comedians who have been stating their opinions humorously and eloquently for longer than I have been alive. So naturally, I am trying to do the same.

I'm only 21 and have been trying to do comedy for two years... I don't know shit compared to the comedians/actors/writers that I love and respect. I still feel that I have to push myself in my opinions and my humor, and anything else that I feel will help me grow as a person/entertainer.

That means "pushing the envelope" or even saying things just to get a rise out of people. So if your offended, be offended. Don't expect an apology all the time. There are plenty of instances where people in a comedy club will laugh at rape/incest/terrorist jokes and get upset and yell at the cancer joke because someone in their family had it.

My mother had cancer, I've heard good and bad cancer jokes. I don't stand up and yell at the comedian making the joke if I don't like it. I may be offended, and that's fine, I don't have to make a scene, or blog about how offended I am. Hecklers are cowardly and annoying, for the most part. They want to be on stage being funny. If I really feel negatively about a certain joke, I'll tell the comedian why I feel this way and try to inform him or her on how to change it, but off stage. It's okay to be offended.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjIuPSuYSOY
 Patrice O'Neal defending funny. If anyone is interested. Please ignore the"offensive" title.

There are so many people that "pretend" to be outraged just to appear sensitive and caring, and it's Bullshit most of the time. Having to let everyone know how offended you are is obnoxious. It is phony to be outraged because it was something that happened to you, and not be outraged at something that didn't happen to you. Or just to be "outraged" because you think you should be outraged. And trying to take responsibility for the "whole nation" is not your responsibility.

Granted there are certain people and comedians that use shock humor for shocks sake. There are plenty of instances of insensitivity with no purpose of satire or a higher purpose. These shock comedians will probably not last very long unless they bring a higher purpose to their comedy. So it's okay be offended at these people. Letting them know they are being insensitive with logic will be more useful than being outraged purely from emotion.

People make jokes out of horrible things because that it the purpose that humor serves in life! The horrible tragedies that happen everyday would to be hard to deal with with out humor. Comedy IS Tragedy. My dog was put to sleep and thrown into a mass grave, and my friends laughed in my face when I told them that. If everybody took everything too seriously, we'd all be miserable. The world needs comedians to make us laugh.

After 911, comedians were the medicine for people. Everybody was horribly sad, and comedians stepped up and started making jokes about it. Getting people laughing for the first time in months. There really is never something "too soon". If that were the case, "too soon" would go away. People can't put a threshold over comedy, because it will always be broken. South Park has always pushed the envelope on political correctness. Now their show is considered one of the greatest satires on Television. When a new limit is put up, they cross the line, and they always will, just like all the other great comedians.

Parents that blame comedians for their kids bad behavior, are not taking full responsibility. They may turn around and say how great their kids are, but it's those dang gone comedians with their potty mouths. If that's the case, don't let them watch those comedians. Parents should take full responsibility for their kids actions. I'm not a parent, so I obviously don't know what it's like to have kids, just my opinion. But it seems like blame shifting to me.

I love Jim Norton, and these are things that he has touched on. What I love about him so much is that he cops to EVERYTHING he has done. None of his past is a mystery, and he makes no excuses for himself. This allows him to make fun of and judge other people. Because he is completely honest about his morals, judgements, feelings, opinions etc. He holds everyone else to the same standards as himself. He's allowed himself the freedom to speak honestly about anything or anyone, and point out fraudulence when it is apparent.

RACISM... for example. Everyone is a little bit racist. It's natural to stereotype people, because a lot of them are true, and it is something we are taught as humans of different colored skin. Just be honest about your feelings and your opinions. I'm kinda racist, I have racist thoughts just like you do. Saying you're not racist makes you seem more racist, kind of... I think.

Now, I probably sound like a preachy douche bag right now, and you could be wondering why I'm trying to tell you how to live your life. But like any other 21 year old I am angry at the world. I'm trying to make sense of it all at the same time, and these are just my beliefs.

There are certainly contradictions in this post, and I'll have to cop to those too. 

I'm trying to be positive in these posts, my hope is to reach people and make them think more deeply about themselves in society.

Have a good'n!



Thursday, October 22, 2015

Be Nice, and don't troll.

For the most part, people have the tendency to be jealous, I get jealous all the time.
When there are well known people making a living at something they love (Actors/Comedians/Musicians etc.), some regular folks don't like them or think they are not worthy of such wealth and admiration.
So they go on the Internet and write hateful things about these (Actors/Comedians/Musicians etc.) anonymously. Generating rumors, claiming they stole from another person, or just to say they suck!

These people troll anonymously because they don't want their name attached to this hatred. Because they would not be able to take the personal slamming that they deserve. This is cowardly, and what rappers call "hating", for those of you who don't listen to Hippity Hop. It is an easy way for jealous and unhappy people to point their self hatred at someone else.

There are plenty of people of high status that I don't like. I don't like what they do, or I think they abuse their status, but I can understand and respect the fact that they have achieved success and fame.
Kim Kardashian is famous for fucking a rapper on camera... Good for her! She has $85 million dollars. She figured out how to make that money by being slutty, marrying  rappers and divorcing athletes. She doesn't have to kill herself or her baby or whatever other awful disgusting things people have told her to do over the internet. If you don't like her, don't watch her show or follow anything else she does. I don't agree with her lifestyle, so I ignore her and move on with my life.

Like anything good, the Internet is abused. Just look at a YouTube video's comments. It's mostly people getting into anonymous arguments that end in someone calling the other persons mother a cunt. The fact that people give dislikes to videos, baffles me. Someone who watches a video of someone trying to be creative and entertaining, just to let everyone else know they think "this guy sucks". It's time wasting and day ruining.

It is at least less cowardly to confront someone and spew your hatred directly towards them in person. It is  respectable to tell someone that you don't like them for specific and honest reasons that could influence them positively. Constructive criticism. Mostly, the Internet is just filled with criticism, for the sake of criticism.

In Patton Oswalt's Special 'Werewolves and Lollipops' he says a line similar to "Paris Hilton is a cunt who should die of AIDS." This  is his honest opinion, and might have been fabricated for comedic purposes. He is not hiding behind a computer screen typing this, he's saying it to a live audience like a courageous human being. You may not agree with him, but you should respect the fact that he is being honest and is courageous enough to state his opinions publicly and stand behind them.

As a kid, I can remember being extremely hurt and angry by some random kid online who was telling me to fuck my dead grandfather over Xbox Live. All I did was beat him in a UFC 2010 match.
I am overly sensitive in this way, and I take things personally, so I stopped playing people on Xbox Live. It's that simple, if you don't like something, leave it alone, don't blab about how much you think Dane Cook should die.

The Golden Rule is cliche for a reason... It's TRUE! If you're a dick, people will be dicky to you, or just dismiss you from their lives. Whatever negative energy you throw out into the world is going to come back to you, and you will spend your life hating others and being disliked and unhappy. What goes around comes around... Another cliche, I'm not saying that karma is completely real. But if you live your life being an ass hole, people will not like spending time with you.

Plenty of people have wronged me, just like everybody else. I find that when I lash out at other people, I don't feel good afterwards. Even if I felt it was remotely justifiable to tell them how much they suck. If you are nice to everybody, for the most part, people will reciprocate with kindness, and you will not have to worry about any of your negative actions coming back to bite you.

If you don't like someone, you don't have to let everyone know you hate them. Just move on with your life, I'm sure you will be a happier person.


Wednesday, October 21, 2015

So... You want to be famous

Most people these days just want to be famous... Whether or not they have talent or value. One kid said to me"I'm going to fake my way to becoming famous. So that when I am, I can show people my true intentions. Because I'll have that platform of an immediate audience."
People want to be famous to shove it in everyone's faces who were mean to them, or to be known and to feel significant in the world, or any other bullshit reason that is totally ego based.

I want to be successful, I am going for an industry where  really talented people with drive can end up famous. I want to be a great Writer/Actor/Comedian and everything and anything else creative that comes from doing those things.
I realize that I will not be successful at these things for many years. Meaning I might not make a lot, if any money anytime soon. But the rich and famous Writer/Actor/Comedians are rich and famous because they've worked and WORKED at their craft for many many MANY years.

Louie C.K. Marc Maron, and Jerry Seinfeld are three amazingly talented Comedians that struggled for years, even decades to make a living in comedy, and to have all been stars and creators of their own sitcoms. 40-60 year old men.
Tina Fey is so well known and loved because she struggled through performing and writing in thousands of live shows, and has broken ground for women in comedy. Bryan Cranston didn't get to be Walter White because he faked his way to becoming famous.

The thing with all of these people I've mentioned is that they all really care about the work they are doing. They've been at it for 20 plus years each and have paid their dues. They are people who would be doing this same thing whether or not they were famous or wealthy. And as far as I can tell, they don't have big egos about where their status lies from all of their hard work.

With Social Media, kids upload everything and hashtag it in attempts of getting noticed, and getting some money and recognition.

Even if you were to fake your way to fame, once you are realized as being a fraud, you will fall right back to the bottom, and it will be right in front of everybody, because you are well known.

As an aspiring Comedian, I have bombed a bit and made an ass of myself. Just like every other successful Comedian who is or has worked.

If you are famous, and you bomb and make an ass of yourself, everyone will see it and judge you for it. "I though that guy was supposed to be funny." Well he wasn't because he faked his way to fame, and has never done stand up before. People expect more from you because you are famous. And comedians like Louie, Maron, and Seinfeld still bomb, because they create new material, like good Comedians do.

As an untalented famous person, you will not be able to take rejection like successful performers who have survived rejection. You will crumble early and everyone will see it. 

So to all of those millennials or anyone else who wants to be famous, go jump off a skyscraper. Then people will be able to type your name into google and have your picture and description pop up. That's "famous".

 Leave the talented people who care about creating to do their work without dumping your horse shit onto the Internet every 15 minutes. You're getting in our way and you're shitting into the minds of other morons who can't help but make the world more dumb. Read a book and quit watching so much porn.